since i arrived back home from my working vacation a week ago, i've been in a slump that's bordering on a depressive spiral...it's sort of a continuation of what i was dealing with before i left, amplified by the great time i had with my family and friends. aww...shit.

why would i post this? for the same reason i do when i post happy things - to get it offa my chest!

my trip made me wanna be closer to family, as my pops is showing early signs of alzheimer's (his dad died of it) and i found out a friend is h.i.v. positive. i miss those people. i miss my family. i also feel very trapped here as everything to do with relocating has large costs attached to it, both monetary and emotional. i've been seeing a gal who i dig and want to be around. my good friends of 10 years are here. i like this province...arrrrgggghhhhh!!!!

pros and cons are being weighed. right now going anywhere is not a reality.

see, when this sort of thing hits me, it hits hard and without discretion . i never walk around claiming that i suffer from depression - the pain only comes when it hits. i believe in full on accountability to my own life, but there are times when i simply feel worn ragged. this is one of those.

i'm tryin' to keep the ole chin up. almost any words'd help right now...

T.

me and my dad in 1969